My, what big spreads you have. After a brief hiatus from crazy-high spreads, we’re back to a bunch of blowouts on paper. But we all know the games aren’t played on paper. They’re played on TV screens. So The Geek is sensing a bit of an uprising from the NFL’s underachievers. Some of the “have nots” are going to say “have some!” to the heavy favorites. Or at least they’ll cover the generous spread. Let’s dive into last week’s results and this week’s picks.
I LOVE YOU, MAN
Last week: 0-3 (3-10 overall). Swung and missed with LenDale White, Buckhalter and Mal Floyd. So clearly, do not play the guys I list below. I think the problem is that I’m getting a little too obscure with these picks. So this week I’m just going to up the talent level a bit. There are no more byes, so you wouldn’t be starting the dregs anyway.
Kevin Smith – Not a banner year for the back of the football card so far. But that’ll change a little this week vs. the Frowns.
LaDanian Tomlinson – He’s back! Well, his lower extremities may not agree. But RBs have been plowing through the Donkeys defense lately, so it could be back-to-back big ones for LDT. (The Geek believes “LT” should be resereve for Lawrence Taylor, and Lawrence Taylor only.)
Knowshon Moreno – So last week, I recommended Buckhalter. After an early fumble, he rode the aluminum for the rest of the game. Knowie stepped in and did fairly well. Look for that trend to continue.
THE GEEK’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Last week: 2-1 (8-5 overall). These are much easier to predict. Hit it on the head with Benson and Barber. Woulda been right on Sims-Walker too, if the Jets secondary didn’t forget how to tackle on S-W’s TD.
Miles Austin – Y’know, he may have been a bit of a fluke. He’ll still be pretty good, but I don’t see too many monster days ahead now that he’s made a name for himself. I benched him in one of my leagues (but I have Boldin, Marshall and Sims-Walker).
Joeseph Addai – I’m calling an upset in Baltimore this week. Wait, what? The Ravens are favored? Well, I like them to keep Joe out of the end zone and under 80 total yards.
Donnie Avery – Great game last week. But that was last week. This week, the Cards are going to go all “Rogers-Cromartie” on his ass.
WEEK 8 RECAP
- Told you I’d rebound like “The Worm” last week. Best week of the year for The Geek. Now that the late-afternoon abyss has closed up, it’s time to gather up a head of steam.
LAST WEEK: 10-5
SEASON: 79-65
WEEK 9 GAMES (Home team in CAPS)
Last week, I picked just four dawgs (all of which won outright, except for the $%@$^! Patriots). This week we’re ratcheting up the love for the little guys by going with an even 8-8 split.
PANTHERS -3.5 over Dolphins
I was scared of Ricky in this game. Turns out, so were Carolina defenders. Dang, one wrong already.
Lions fans may actually be able to show their faces this week.
LIONS -3.5 over Browns
I’m not even sure the Frowns can score 3.5 points these days. Quinn and Anderson are equally atrocious. I hear JaMarcus Russell is available at a discount.
49ers +6.5 over PACKERS
Look past last week’s impressive victory over Dallas (Green Bay’s only quality win all year, by the way). What do you see? An embarrassing loss at Tampa Bay and a thumping by Favre. I’m not ready to give the Pack nearly a touchdown against a decent team.
Steelers -9.5 over CHIEFS
I went back and forth with this one. Then I remembered what happened the last time Cassel faced Pittsburgh. It got ugly. Maybe he’ll be a little shell shocked when he sees James Harrison coming at him.
Redskins +11.5 over COWBOYS
This is one of those Cowboys ‘n’ Indians rivalry games where you can throw the records. I think the Washigntonians can compete.
Falcons +6.5 over GIANTS
The Giants are home and coming off a bye. But as I wondered with my buddy Scooter, does that really matter? A quick Google search revealed no evidence. This is when The Geek wishes he had a statistician to summon, like the analysts over at the four-letter network. Does some rest really erase the four straight losses the G-Men have suffered? Wait until the last minute to bet on this and you can probably get the Falcons plus a touchdown, or more once the New York money has settled.
Saints -11.5 over Buccaneers
Are the Bucs a little better than I thought? Maybe. Are the Saints a little more banged up on defense than I realize? Maybe. But I just can’t bring myslf to take the Succaneers.
Bills +8.5 over JAGUARS
Sure, this could be the game in which the Bills throw in the towel for the season, now that Jauron got canned. But this is the same Jags team that barely beat St. Louis in overtime. They don’t deserve to give 8.5 points.
WEEK 9 PICKS AT A GLANCE
(Geek’s Selections in Yellow)
RAVENS -0.5 over Colts
The Colts have been pulling the horseshoe that’s on their helmet right out of their collective ass lately. I think the luck stops here.
Seahawks +11.5 over VIKINGS
It’s Justin Forsett time! If Hasselbeck is still standing upright by the 4th quarter, I think the ‘Hawks can hang in there.
Cardinals +8.5 over Rams
If you picked the Rams to cover against the Saints, give yourself a big pat on the back. I wasn’t about to back the Rams. And I’m still not. Especially against the Cards, who are rolling.
BEACH-SAND HOT LOCK OF THE WEEK (4-1 on the season):
Chargers -2.5 over BRONCOS
I took Denver last week. And it looked like a great pick. Right up until Chris Simms entered the game for Kyle Orton. Then it went south faster than the gypsy dragged Allison Lohman to hell in the appropriately named movie Drag Me To Hell. Anyway, there’s a good chance Simms starts for the reeling Broncos this week.
It's not a good sign for the Raiders that the only photo that come up when doing an image search for Bruce Gradkowski shows the other team celebrating an interception.
RAIDERS +9.5 over Bengals
Kind of an atypical pick here. The logic is as follows: Benson is out. The Raiders are pretty good against the pass. OffTheMarcus will be a spectator. The only worry I have is that the Raiders are starting a QB named Bruce Gradkowski. So McFadden, Bush and Fargas should get about 30 carries each.
PATRIOTS -10.5 over Jets
Guess who’s gonna be crazy-mad? And guess who like to run up the score?
BEARS +3.5 over Eagles
I think the Bears stink. But they’ve had a week and half to prepare and Jay Cutler’s interception quota has been met. Oh yeah, and the Eagles can’t run the ball. At all.
Titans +4.5 over TEXANS
Houston is very creative at staying in close games. Plus, Tennessee has a bottle of lightning named Chris Johnson. The Titans may just win straight up.
NOTE: Spreads are from ESPN’s Pigskin Pick ‘Em game because they have lines for every game, despite injuries.
YOUR SURVIVOR SAVIOR
Still in a Survivor Pool? Well, then you’re doing better than The Geek. But I can still help you decide who to risk your life on. Actually, if you can’t stay alive this week, you don’t deserve to win. You could almost certainly survive by selecting Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Minnesota, Cincinnati or New England. Or you could roll with The Geek’s pick this week…
Arizona over ST. LOUIS
Arizona is desert-hot right now. They’re getting production on the ground from Beanie Wells and Boldin is healthy. The Rams may keep it close for a little while, but Arizona’s gonna eventually cruise to an inter-division win.
Previous selected teams: Seattle, Washington, Green Bay, San Francisco, Philadelphia, NY Jets, Carolina, Chicago, Atlanta, Miami, Arizona
NOTE: SUNDAY CHAT TIME CHANGE!
I’ll be back on Meebo chat to answer your last-minute lineup questions during my Sunday Chat Session this weekend. But I’m shortening the session to one hour, from 12:00 – 1:00 ET/9:00-10:00 PT! Be sure to stop by if you’re unsure who to start!
Good luck this week,
The Geek
Filed under: Fantasy Football | Tagged: Fantasy Football, Football Picks, Picks, Pool, Suicide
